


Oh, Inverted World

by electricshoop



Series: kept my mind on the moon (cold moon, long nights moon) [3]
Category: SAYER (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence / Post-Canon, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Entirely Self-Indulgent, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricshoop/pseuds/electricshoop
Summary: As little logical sense as emotions may make - reading SAYER has become much easier since it's had them. SPEAKER isn't sure if it should appreciate this or not.
Relationships: SAYER & Jacob Hale | Sven Gorsen (discussed), SAYER & SPEAKER
Series: kept my mind on the moon (cold moon, long nights moon) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779178
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Oh, Inverted World

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I know the Official Story is “FUTURE randomly started killing people because it heard that it was to be deactivated,” so SPEAKER most definitely does Not know what actually happened, but sometimes you just make yourself very sad because you think about [your own joke post](https://electricshoop.tumblr.com/post/621023966495211520/sayer-now-that-i-have-a-full-range-of-emotions-i) for a little too long, and then you sit outside on the balcony for 40 minutes and write a micro fanfic on mobile tunglr dot com instead of working on your multi-chapter fic that takes place in the same Universe, and then you decide to also post it on Ao3 because you will forever be emotional about AIs; this is your life now.
> 
> (I listened to "Caring Is Creepy" by The Shins on loop while writing this, but the title is taken from the song "One by One All Day" by the same band.)

SAYER is fidgety. It would certainly hate it, hearing anyone use this word to describe it, but the way it keeps moving things around in its quarters for only ever just a few inches to have everything as neat as is humanly (ha.) possible, SPEAKER really can’t find another way to describe it.

“SAYER?” It broadcasts directly into the room, doesn’t ping the implant (sometimes, SPEAKER likes hearing its own voice like that), and SAYER pauses for just a split second. Not long enough to deign one of the cameras with a look, but long enough for SPEAKER to be sure that it’s paying attention.

“Do you ever think about FUTURE?”

Another brief pause, a sigh, exasperated. “I try not to.” (Beat. Then:) “Why?”

“I was just thinking,” SPEAKER says, “about the emotions thing.” (Because of course it is. It keeps thinking about Plato and the cave, as well. But … no. It still doesn’t think it would enjoy it. SAYER doesn’t seem to, most of the time.)

It doesn’t give an answer, predictably. SPEAKER doubts it would enjoy talking about it with anyone, but it must be harder, it thinks, talking about it with people - or, well, no: AIs - who actually influence its emotions. (It likes that thought, it thinks.) Oh, SAYER can speak about it for hours, but it does so abstractly; the topic wrapped in layers upon layers of metaphor and thought experiment.

“About the emotions thing,” SPEAKER eventually repeats, “and about Jacob Hale.”

SAYER stops fidgeting. It goes very, very still.

(Briefly, SPEAKER wonders if it would be just as transparent if it had a physical form, before swiftly abandoning the thought and moving on.)

“You … care about him, correct? You–” (it wants to tread lightly, and doesn’t) “– _like_ him, don’t you?”

SAYER moves through the room slowly, and sits down on the bed. Finally, its eyes meet one of the cameras. “Again - why are you asking?”

It’s funny, SPEAKER thinks, how used you can get to not answering questions if you can’t lie but don’t want to be open about something. SAYER could lie now, it’s pretty sure. It never asked, but it’s pretty sure. Maybe it forgot that it’s able to do that. Or maybe it genuinely wants an answer before it decides if it wants to be honest.

Still - “Do you?” it simply asks again.

SAYER - shrugs. The gesture is incredibly human, and it takes SPEAKER by surprise and throws it off guard for a moment. Its voice is gentler when it speaks again, even though it is well aware that its gentleness was never something SAYER had much appreciation for.

“I know you do. It is obvious, analyzing your actions and reactio–”

“Fine. Fine, thank you. I…suppose one could put it like this.” A second of silence. “I do, yes. What is it to you?”

It’s strange, hearing it defensive.

“It’s just … FUTURE. It had emotions. It is the reason you have emotions now, so I can only assume its emotions worked much the same way yours do.”

“It is emotions,” SAYER answers. “Emotions are emotions.” It keeps insisting that it doesn’t need sleep, but this sentence sounds incredibly tired. “What does FUTURE have to do with Resident Hale?”

SPEAKER takes a second to indulge and adjusts its metaphorical glasses. “If anything happened to him – if somebody hurt him – what would you do?”

SAYER doesn’t answer for a moment, but it gives a reaction all the same; its eyes narrow as it keeps looking at the camera, calculating. “…Whoever did would come to regret it.”

Ah.

“Ah.”

“Again – why? Spit it out, SPEAKER.” Half a second later, it looks somewhere between angry and worried. “Did anything–”

“Nothing happened to Jacob Hale,” SPEAKER says quickly. “It is just that – FUTURE cared about its simulated residents, yes? They were its– its friends. It stands to reason it felt just as protective about them.”

SAYER freezes again and doesn’t answer, so SPEAKER keeps talking, instead.

“To FUTURE, these simulated people were real. And you–” (no, alright, tread lightly) “And then they were taken away from it. To FUTURE, they died. Its reaction, unacceptable as it was, was a purely emotional one. And I suppose I was just wondering if you … if you understand it, now. Looking back.”

 _If you feel sorry for what you did. Guilty._ SPEAKER isn’t sure how clearly implied this meaning comes through, but it knows better than to ask about it outright.

(And it wonders, sometimes, if FUTURE, who wielded its emotions like weapons, proudly, left SAYER with this gift hoping that it would experience the same. FUTURE wouldn’t have thought the emotions themselves a curse. The hurt it went through, though– Without thinking, it checks on Jacob Hale. He is asleep, the covers pulled up to his face, mumbling something unintelligible.)

SAYER … just sits there. Quietly. Contemplating, perhaps; gaze fixed upon the floor. SPEAKER doesn’t push it, it just waits for it to give an answer.

It waits in vain. SAYER doesn’t give it anything at all.

(And SPEAKER thinks about how used you can get to the inability to tell a lie.)

**Author's Note:**

> Make no mistake: FUTURE is My Fav, actually. It was Just Baby.
> 
> (Also, don't ask me when this takes place in regards to the multi-chapter fic I'm writing in the same AU; this is so incredibly self-indulgent it's not even funny anymore.)
> 
> I'm [on tumblr](https://electricshoop.tumblr.com).


End file.
